Memos from the Middle

Smack-Dab in the Middle of Motherhood

Veggies and Beeswax

Daddy: (yelling) What are you doing? You’re going to throw those carrots away, aren’t you? You waited until I left the kitchen to sneak over to the trash to throw away those carrots! Didn’t you?

Daredevil: (pouting, with eyes cast shamefully downward) Yes.

Daddy: (still yelling) How many times do I have to tell you that you are going to eat those vegetables? We work too hard to have you just throw food away! Five minutes from now, you are going to be the main one complaining about being hungry! Asking for a snack! And you want to throw away your carrots?

Daredevil: (trying to defend herself, pleading) But I just don’t like these kind of carrots.

Daddy: (relentless) I don’t care what you like! You are going to eat those carrots!

The Daredevil slumps back to the table with her plate and slowly begins to eat the carrots. The Princess, with a smug little grin, eats each slice of carrot as if it tasted better than a cupcake.

Princess: (annoyingly) MMM! Yummy! This is a delicious dinner, Daddy!

A few minutes later, the Princess marches boastfully into our bedroom. The Daredevil is fuming and hot on her heals.

Princess: Daddy? (in that whining tone that seems to simultaneously self-glorify and denigrate someone else) The Daredevil threw away her macaroni and cheese.

Daredevil: (defending herself, once again) But I ate all of my carrots, and it was just a little bit, and IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS ANYWAY!

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