10 Reasons Why I Refuse to Join Facebook
I kinda feel like those people back in the late ’90s who refused to learn how to use a computer. “What’s wrong with the card catalog?” they’d squeal into their rotary phones behind bifocals and a steaming hot cup of unsweetened tea. Their grandchildren foolishly purchased desktops for them, hoping that they’d share an email or instant message every once in a while, but after the obligatory unpacking and strategic display, the computer served no purpose other than a glorified plant stand.
Yep, that old hag is me. I sit in my rocking chair, covered in a quilt (even though the heat is on 78 degrees), and work crossword puzzles intently, humming little ditties to myself. Well, not really, but I do have an old lady-like obsession, for what type of obsession is any more intense, with avoiding Facebook. And here’s why:
10) I hate crowds. Over 1 billion people on anything seems like way too many to me.
9) I avoid certain people more expertly without Facebook in my life.
8) I need a dictionary of abbreviations to figure out what the hell people are saying.
7) Every minute of my day need not be chronicled for the world. There is a very real thing called “too much information.”
6) I don’t really care what you like, nor do I feel compelled to tell you what I like.
5) I got enough of fake friends in high school.
4) Facebook gangsters cause real-life fights. Just ask any teenager.
3) I know damn well you don’t look like your profile picture…anymore.
2) Poking me or posting something on my wall just sounds painful.
1) I’m happy in my marriage.