The Art of (Not) Crying
As a full-time mommy, full-time wife, full-time teacher, full-time Christian (although I fell off the wagon a couple of times last week), and part-time blogger, I have felt the urge to cry on more than one occasion. The problem is that I can’t. Okay, find a movie about a terminally ill mom with two or more small children or a sappy Hallmark commercial reminding us all of the beauty of grandparents, and I’ll let a few tears go, but in the midst of daily turmoil my tears never find their way to the surface. And I hate that.
Now, I don’t want to be that woman who cries every time she hears a bird chirp, but it would be nice to be able to pull out a few sobs at some pretty key moments in my life. This issue is not new for me either. I never really was a crier. When I was a kid, my dad used to say, “You need to cry before your tear ducts dry up.” I tried, I really did, but unless I attended a funeral for someone I really loved, I couldn’t do it. Admittedly, though, crying is much easier now that I’m a mom, but still, more often than not, if I do actually cry, it’s when the stress of whatever was bothering me is resolved.
A few weeks ago, my kids came home with construction paper faces glued to popsicle sticks. Each face was of a different emotion (although the “sick” and “scared” faces were virtually indistinguishable to me). The other day, my baby stood kind of creepily immobile at the bathroom door as I washed my face. I asked her what was wrong, and she held up the sad popsicle stick face.
“Why are you sad?”
“You are leaving me,” she said as tears rolled down her face. Let me first say that I almost quit my job in that moment, but the fact that we actually enjoy eating food gave me the reality check that I needed. Like Lucy, I had some ‘splainin’ to do, but I couldn’t help but wonder how she was able to pull those tears so effortlessly to the surface.
I’ve been on this earth for 30 years, and I don’t really think I can master that feat in the next couple of days, so I’ll take my baby’s trick of making signs to hold up to explain how I’m feeling. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
Did I miss anything?
- Go Ahead Cry Your Eyes Out (socyberty.com)